Whether I've made it up or not, it's a rather worrying phrase - a linking of "the good news" with guilt. Guilt can be a pretty poor motivator - but that's for another post...
As I sit and ponder here it strikes me that conviction can be addressed in several ways. We have the phrase about having the courage of our convictions, something which I was wresting with a little this week. If I truly believe that change for the parish lies in the engagement with the majority population group who have very little to do with the church then I need to respond, and to encourage the congregations to respond too. The difficulty of course is that the changes of practice, and maybe more importantly changes in attitude, which might be required would certainly lead us out of our "comfort zone" and further into a "risky adventure" of faith.
It takes a serious degree of courage to step out from the familiar and the expected. It doesn't matter whether it's personal or institutional, it still means being open to dramatic change.
One illustration of this I discovered browsing the BBC news website earlier this week about the plans of the One Laptop Per Child initiative. It would appear that this laudable goal is being stifled, perhaps inevitably, by politics.
"You've got to be big, you've got to be bold. And what has happened is that there has been an effort to say 'don't take any risks - just do something small, something incremental'."
"It feels safe but by definition what you are ensuring is that nothing happens."
The words of Professor Bender might well apply to any number of issues, not least the Church of England, at both a national as well as a parochial level. It partly explains why I sometimes feel that the only way ahead for the Church of England is for it to die. As the example of the Cross shows, for Resurrection there has a to first be a death - with all the pain and grief that comes as part of the package. Another risky question is to ask whether that death has to be a lingering one or should be speeded up by an act of mercy.
The Gospel reading on Sunday (Luke 23: 33-43) reminded us of Jesus words on the Cross to the thief who had the clarity of insight, maybe spurred by the impending inevitability of death, to recognise Jesus for who he was, so prompting him to ask "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus' promise of paradise didn't remove the thief from his cross. It didn't stop the suffering - but it did transform the context.
Any comforts we might take from our faith, that the victory is won, still take their place within the context of an ongoing struggle. The greater need for wisdom lies in knowing which parts of the struggle are relevant in the economy of the Kingdom, and which are actually a waste of resources. To prune the butterfly bush down to the stump each winter looks cruel and excessive, but without it it fails to grow properly. Even the act recorded in John 19: 31-33 of the soldiers breaking the legs of the crucified is an act of mercy. It's not an infliction of needless pain but a means of speeding a long-drawn out death.
If I truly am convinced (convicted) about the rightness of a fact or a course of action then that needs to be set in motion. Conviction of sin, or of the rectitude of a policy or statement, demands a response. It is not enough to say something, but to do something. The thief on the cross expressed it as a request. Overseas governments need to honour the promises they have made to the OLPC program.
To enable action there has to be a reason, an incentive, a "carrot". I have to not only be convinced that a radical change of course is necessary, but to have a clear vision of the benefits, enough to outweigh any personal or institutional resistance to such a change. That is my stumbling block.
Likewise, my worry about the "Gospel of Conviction" that can so easily be heard in Mission activity, is that too often it becomes closer to the declaration of guilt and judgement by a court, where the condemned has nothing appealing to look forward to, rather than acknowledging that for many people they are already weighed down by a conviction of guilt, real or imagined. The Gospel has to offer a means of transformation and escape. It has truly to be seen as Good News. And maybe for that we need to work rather harder at unpacking the value and relevance, in contemporary terms, of the salvation, the healing of the human-divine and human-human relationships, brought about by the life, death and resurrection of the Son of God, and rather les on the burden of sin.
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